April 12, 2010
Did you know…? About forks
While the knife and spoon have long been accepted as common eating utensils, the fork had a much harder time earning its place at the table. The fork’s similarity to the pitchfork, a sign of the devil, was the source of most resistance.
Imagine the astonishment then, in 1004, when Maria Argyropoulina, Greek niece of Byzantine Emperor Basil II, arrived in Venice for her marriage with a case of golden forks to use at the wedding feast. She was roundly condemned by the local clergy.
When she died of the plague two years later, Saint Peter Damian suggested that it was God’s punishment for her “forked” ways. The devil took her!
By the 1400s dining forks were appearing in Italian cookbooks, and shortly thereafter, another noble marriage influenced the public’s perception of the fork. Catherine de Medici arrived from Italy to marry the future French King Henry II, and with her she brought several dozen intricate silver forks. Wealthy French families eagerly adopted the new Italian influence. (Who knew the fork was once pop culture?)
Well into the early 1800s, forks were still considered a novelty by some, and the source of great confusion to others.
By the first World’s Fair in 1851, the fork had finally gained widespread Western acceptance as a popular eating utensil. It even had its own set of rules to help the confused or socially self conscious. Perhaps that was the point when the fork’s reputation as the ultimate symbol of etiquette issues was first forged.
So, the next time you sit down to a formal meal and feel a hint of panic at the sight of three forks, don’t sweat it! Your ancestors didn’t get it either, but in time, there’s hope for us all.
April 9, 2010
Hijacking, At Your Service
“Hello, may I help you?” the pretty young clerk asked me with a smile.
Yay! It’s my turn! After a long wait in line at the bakery, standing there enduring all those sumptuous sights and scents, I was practically drooling with excitement to place my order.
But in the micro-moment it took me to step forward and open my mouth, without any warning at all, someone hijacked my service provider!
“Hey Polly, did Mark tell you that we’re putting the muffins on the top rack now?” her co-worker hollered from behind the display case. Instead of maintaining contact with me, Polly turned her attention away.
“That man is so cute, I’m thinking about fixing him up with my little sister, Janine. Do you think they’d make a good couple? I’m not sure, but I think it could work….”
HEY! I thought. I’ve been waiting here for 15 minutes to hand you money, and now I have to wait even longer so you can discuss the social lives of people I don’t even know before you do business with me? I was fuming.
It only took a moment to have their little chat, but in that moment, these employees cost the bakery a customer. (And yes, you can be sure I let the owner know – politely, but firmly – just how disappointed I was in the service.)
Have you ever had your service hijacked? Isn’t it frustrating?! As a paying customer who waits patiently to be served, you have a right to expect the full, undivided attention of a service provider – and the right to take your business elsewhere when you don’t get it. After all, voting with your dollars is one of the best ways to be heard.
Then again, reconsidering your own behavior is one of the best ways to change the world. As it turns out, customers hijack each other’s turn all the time. (I just have a quick question…. or This will only take a second….)
If you’ve ever been a victim of such behavior – from a fellow customer or a professional – you know just how off-putting it can be. As we all know, even a brief interruption is still an interruption.
So I encourage you to make a personal commitment today: don’t be a hijacker! Always give people due time, adequate space and privacy to conduct business without distraction. It may be a small step, but it moves us all toward a more respectful world.
March 26, 2010
Take it Down a Notch! Controlling Sound Leakage
If you think you’re the only one listening to the callers on cell phone or the music on your iPod… think again!
We tend to assume that ear buds, headphones and cell phones funnel sound directly to our eardrums, but in truth, a significant amount of sound escapes these channels, flowing freely into the environment around us.
This side-stream sound can easily annoy other people – or worse!
On Friday afternoon, Jason was carpooling home from a conference with several colleagues. It was nearly 5:00 pm when Jason’s phone rang; it was his wife calling, wondering when he would be home.
After a quick update, as they were about to end their call, Jason’s wife let him know just how much she was missing him with a spicy little comment that was clearly meant for his ears alone.
Unfortunately, her message reached more ears than she intended. Suddenly, everyone was blushing and looking out the window – everyone except Jason, who had no idea how many people knew about his very personal plans.
Here’s what else he didn’t know: One of the easiest ways to accidentally compromise confidentiality is to take a personal call in close proximity to someone else. As careful as you may be with your own words, your caller’s speech can easily reach those within a few feet of you. And in a small, closed environment such as an office or car, your unintended audience has no choice but to listen, like it or not!
Cell phones are not the only offender, though. As any frequent flyer can tell you, personal music players, portable games and movie players are just as guilty of earpiece sound leakage.
Gym-goers know it, too. We love to move to our own beat, but when we pump up the volume, it shouldn’t be any surprise when our immediate neighbors move elsewhere.
The key to conquering earpiece leakage: a little consideration – and distance! Lower your volume setting when around other people, and make sure you’re at least 10 feet away from an unsuspecting audience when you take personal calls.
These are such simple steps, but they can make such a big difference to those around you – and that, my dear reader, is the very essence of etiquette.
March 24, 2010
5 Quick Tips on Business Etiquette
It can take years to build a great professional reputation, but here are some quick, easy ways to please, respect, even impress the people you work with.
- Always use diplomacy: Speak to your convictions in the calmest, most respectful way possible. Always.
- Treat everyone kindly: Relationships with peers and subordinates are as important as those your carefully cultivate with superiors, clients and other key people.
- Never leave your boss open to surprise: Keep her or him informed of issues, discretely.
- Keep detailed notes on people: Use your contact manager to note personal details (spouse’s name, children, and other notable facts). This is such an easy way to reinforce a relationship.
- Disparaging comments can do tremendous damage to a relationship, reputation, even a career in the blink of an eye. Be very careful with your words about others, as they will often be repeated.
These guidelines may seem deceptively simple, but they highlight an overall attitude of respect and service that is becoming increasingly uncommon. Adopt them, and you’ll stand head and shoulders above the rest.
March 23, 2010
The Fundamentals of Photo Etiquette
Have you ever been caught by surprise when someone snaps a spontaneous photo – and later realized that your distorted face was posted somewhere for all to see?
With Facebook and other photo-sharing networks growing life wildfire, many of us have had this unfortunate experience, and the feeling that follows is downright awful! Such careless regard for others’ feelings is the essence of bad photo etiquette.
Remember, permission is very important, for both taking and sharing a picture of someone else.
This lesson is especially important in dealing with other cultures. All around the globe, people believe that when someone takes your picture, they trap your soul. Carelessly snapping shots of an Australian Aborigine or Native American could be considered a grave offense, and even land you in jail!
Even with your average tech-savvy person, always ask permission before posting pictures of other people online. There are many reasons they might decline, and their privacy must be respected.
